Captain 69's Epic 100th Post: With a Vengeance

Writing this post makes me feel like I'm watching Arnold, Sly, and Bruce Willis blowing shit up together in a single flick...oh wait, that's going to happen in THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE (again), THE EXPENDABLES II.

So let me be more specific...

Writing this makes me feel like I'm watching those three guys blow shit up when they weren't 60 years old and recovering from banging Spanish maids, 'roiding up on horse tranquilizers, and losing a wife to the biggest douche ever to wear a knit cap (seriously, who keeps greenlighting these Ashton Kutcher flicks?). What I'm trying to say is...this is kind of a big deal.

This is CAPTAIN 69'S EPIC 100TH POST: WITH A VENGEANCE!

It seems odd to be writing about this blog likes it anything at all. Three years ago when I started getting into screenwriting, all the books suggested watching as many movies as possible (talk about cheap ass advice). So I made it my goal to watch a movie a week, and, just for shits and gigs, I created this blog to write about each movie. I never thought anyone would actually read the damn things.

I started posting in February 2009. Viewers first found my blog via the interweb search engines in July 2009. That month I had 26 visitors. I stumbled upon the stats button for my blog in July 2010 and that month I had over 1900 views. That's when I realized people were actually reading this shit and I should watch my fuckin' mouth ('Cause I'm Castor Troy!). Last month I topped my all-time views record in March 2012 with over 2700 views. So far over 25000 cinephiles have entered the cinematic asylum of Captain 69 and everyone knows that although two men enter, only one man leaves...

Let's do some lists.

Most Viewed Posts:

#1) The Princess Bride: 3266 views

#2) Leon: The Professional: 1537 views

#3) Big Trouble in Little China: 1503 views

Worst Movies Reviewed:

#1) Birdemic: Shock and Terror (It's about birds that explode)

#2) The Wicker Man (It's an hour and a half of Nick Cage screaming and punching women)

#3) The Room (It's about a guy who thinks he can act and direct acting in and directing his own movie)

Movie You Probably Haven't Seen But Absolutely Should:

Rubber (2010): It's about a serial killer with psychic powers...that is a tire. MIND BLOWN!

In closing, I would like to thank all my loyal viewers who stumble upon this site from search engines and waste time reading posts when they should be doing something productive instead. You make all this random cinema ranting possible...wait...no you don't. I do. So...you're welcome.

So, in actual closing now, I just wanna say one thing...God bless, America...and GET TO DA CHOPPA!

EXPENDABLES II: AUGUST 17, 2K12