Fight Club (1999)

Every cinephile has a favorite movie. Fight Club is mine.

I read Chuck Palahnuk's novel after watching the movie, expecting the novel to blow the movie out of the water. You know what? It didn't. It's one of the few movies that completely dominates the book. That's something special right there.

The first rule of fight club is you DO NOT talk about Fight Club...

A lot of people (n00bs, mostly) believe Fight Club is an action movie; these people couldn't be further from the truth. Fight Club is a philosophical movie; it SAYS something. There aren't too many movies that say something meaningful. American Beauty says something, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind says something, but no movie better critiques the 20th Century than Fight Club.

A lot of people don't get Fight Club. The entire movie is a statement on the over-civilization of modern man. The basic instincts of the modern male are useless in our modern society where life is easy and survival all but guaranteed. Man no longer finds the need to challenge himself. Once upon a time there were tigers to eat us and rival clans to fight for land, food, and women. Those things defined us as males. Now we're defined by the tag on the clothes we wear, the kind of car we drive, or how large our flat-screen televisions are.

The things you own, end up owning you...

We've been transformed from warriors into consumers, buyers of things. Previous generations had wars to fight, depressions to overcome. What does this generation have to overcome? Finding the perfect bed skirting for our bedroom in our perfect, little townhome? Having a wife whose ass looks less fat than all our friends' wives? Our own mediocrity?

We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world...

That's why Fight Club is a great movie - my favorite. This is the opposite of The Avengers. This movie is not a t-shirt. This movie is not a lunchbox or an action figure or a spin-off television show. This movie is an idea, a philosophy, a reflection of our society at the end of the century. This movie explains why young men walk into movie theaters and elementary schools with guns and shoot up the place. When you create a hollow country with no soul based solely on buying shit, we can't be surprised when people treat human beings like "things."

Now that's a fucking movie...

Why It's Awesome: If nothing else, it's one of the few movies that is better than the book...but it's so, so much more. In Tyler we trust.

Best Quote:

Tyler Durden: It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

Jingle All the Way (1996)

When people talk about classic Christmas movies, they always mention film like Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Story, and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I'd like to add another film to the conversation: the holiday classic, Jingle All the Way starring Aaaarnold Schwarzenegger and (sigh...) Sinbad.

Now, on the surface, this movie may just appear to be another holiday cash-in with a nonsensical plot, atrocious acting, horrendous slapstick humor, and the stupid kid who played Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode I, but in actuality it's a deep allegory attacking the corrupt materialistic nature of our modern-day society. Don't believe me? Let's take a look.

Jingle All the Way is about a work-obsessed father (Arnold) who forgets to buy his son the must-have gift of the holiday season (Turbo Man). So Arnold has to venture out on Christmas Eve to battle the hordes of shoppers for the one toy that will cancel out an entire year of neglect and win his son's love. Standing between him and his son's affection is a psychotic mailman (the master thespian, Sinbad) who challenges Arnold at every opportunity.

A n00b may look at this film as just another Arnold comedy abortion (Junior, anyone?), but the goal was to critique society as much as it was to display Arnold and Sinbad's masterful acting chops. Arnold represents the modern father, more interested in working ("You're my number one customer!") than connecting with his child. He believes that buying his son a favorite toy will make his child believe he is a good father. Thus, things = love. Instead of spending Christmas Eve with his family, making memories and enjoying each other's company, Arnold spends the entire day doing battle in the coliseum of commercialism. This is what love has become in our modern society.

Phil Hartman, the creepy divorced neighbor who wants to bang Arnold's wife (which is ballsy) represents the protagonist's foil. Unlike Arnold, he is a stay-at-home dad type who bakes cookies, shares recipes, shops early, and rents reindeer (What?). But although it seems like this arch-type represents a better example of what it means to be a father, he is just as flawed as Arnold's workaholic stereotype. His motives are flawed. He only does these things as a means to banging the neighborhood women. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing. His "good dad" façade is a means to meet is most base desires. For him, pussy = love.

Thus, Jingle All the Way is not just another holiday slapstick comedy but a critique of what it means to be a father in a society where things = love and we weigh our self-value based on the things we own or the women we've conquered. All this and Sinbad! What more could someone want for the holidays?

Why It's Better Than You Thought:

An existential critique of what it means to be a father in a society that continues to symbolically castrate males as gender roles continue to blur. Arnold and Sinbad hold up a mirror to society and reflect our foibles and weaknesses right back at us. That's deep...

Best Quote:

Sinbad: They sit there and use subliminal messages to suck your children's minds out! And I know what I'm talking about because I went to junior college for a semester and I studied psychology so I'm right in there, I know what's going on. They make the kids feel like garbage and you, the father, who's working 24/7 delivering mail so you can make an alimony payment to a woman that slept with everybody at the post office but me! And then when you get the toy, it breaks and you can't fix it because it's little cheap plastic!