The Room (2003)

Hi doggy!

Let's start 2011 with the best worst movie of the past decade. I'm speaking of course of Tommy Wisaeu's masterpiece of garbage, THE ROOM.

Ever wonder what would happen if one of the Geico cavemen decided to write, star, direct, and produce his own movie even though he had no business doing any of those things? You'd get the most insane, illogical piece of flaming turd of a movie mankind has ever seen. This movie is proof that there is a God and He hates us.

Oh, hi Denny!

This movie is so bad that there are actually midnight screenings of this flick throughout the country (similar to the midnight showings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show in the past) where the audience throws plastic spoons at the screen and tosses a football around to commemorate the craptitude of the movie. Why's the movie so bad? Well, in addition to the acting, writing, dialogue, character development, directing, special effects, and lighting being just absolutely THE WORST, the plot makes absolutely zero sense. Here are some highlights that actually need to be seen to understand just how illogical this movie truly is:

- There's a greeting every two minutes, sometimes in the middle of other, more important lines ("I did not hit her. It's bullshit. I did not hit her - oh, hi Mark!").

- In the first ten minutes of the movie, there are two sex scenes before any semblance of a plot are even hinted at.

- The set includes framed pictures of spoons, which are never explained or even acknowledged.

- There's a random scene where four guys put on tuxedos and throw a football around while they stand three feet away from one another. It has no significance or meaning.

- At one point one character tries to murder another by throwing the guy off the roof. Afterwards, neither one seems to care that this just happened, not even the intended victim.

- Near the end of the movie, one of the major characters simply disappears and his lines are given to a random person we've never seen before.

- Multiple subplots are introduced and then forgotten immediately. These include Denny, a strange man-child, being threatened by a drug dealer who loaned drugs to Denny (Who the hell loans out drugs on credit?), Lisa's mother being diagnosed with breast cancer, and Lisa telling Johney she's pregnant "just to make things interesting" (whatever the fuck THAT is supposed to mean).

- Juliette Daniel's nipples actually spend more time on the screen than most of the main characters.

My head hurts just remembering all the stupidity this movie introduced to the world. This movie makes The Human Centipede look like Citizen Kane. The Room stands as proof that anybody - and I mean any fucking brain dead retard who can't even speak English - can make a movie. In the words of Biff Tannen..."I just wanna say one thing...God bless America."

Oh, hi Mark!

Why It's Awful: It does everything WRONG in the most wrong ways possible. It sits alongside Troll 2 and Surf Nazis Must Die as the absolute worst movies I've ever seen in my entire life. Well done, Tommy Wiseau. You're in wonderful company.

Worst Quote:

Let's stick with the now infamous, "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LISA!!!"