Escape from New York (1981)

And the KURT RUSSELL QUADFECTA is complete!

We're moving from bearded Kurt Russell to eye patch Kurt Russell in his most famous role, Snake Plissken in Escape from New York. Russell pioneers the gravelly-voiced anti-hero who DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT in this flick. In fact, his voice is so gravelly he could make a gravel road feel like a complete pussy - now that's hardcore.

This movie looks ahead to the future year of...1997 (gasp) where New York City is similar to today in that it's a shithole prison that no one can escape from...except that it's literally a prison in this movie instead of metaphorically like in real life. The United States is at war with China and Russia (or something) and, on his way to deliver a cassette tape of Madonna's Greatest Hits to the rival countries, Air Force One is shot down over NYC and the president is taken hostage by the inmates. Guess who has to save him?

Once again Kurt Russell and John Carpenter team up for a winning combination. The entire budget for this film was $23.17 and what Carpenter manages to pull off with that budget is nothing short of amazing. He even manages to buy a limo with chandelier hood ornaments for Isaac Hayes (playing the Duke of New York) to drive around in. The sets look amazing for the low budget and he most definitely gets his money's worth out of Kurt Russell's performance.

The following example sums up Kurt Russell's entire effort in this film: while he's saving the president, Snake gets shot with an arrow in the leg. Russell then proceeds to sell the injury FOR THE REST OF THE FUCKING MOVIE. He limps from that point on all the way until the credits roll. Now that's dedication. Any modern action hero would sell the injury for about five minutes and then be running a track meet in the next scene...not Kurt Russell. That's why he's his generation's Nick Cage.

As much as I enjoy me some Kurt Russell, the performance of the guy who plays Romero (the insane shark man to the left) totally steals the show. This guy is so over-the-top awesome it's hard to describe just how totally sweet he actually is. Even his death is so entirely overly ridiculous that I prayed he would come back to life just so I could watch him die again.

So for now we escape not only New York but the blinding glow that is Kurt Russell's brilliance. So long, Kurt Russell. May your beard always be luscious, your voice gravelly, and may you always find big trouble, even in little places. RESPECT!

Why it's Awesome: Kurt Russell running around a Carpenter film with an eye patch, a gun, and nano-nucler bombs imbedded in his neck, all the while not giving a shit about any of it. Sign my ass up!

Best Quote:
Hauk: You gonna kill me, Snake?
Snake: Not now. I'm too tired...maybe later.