Last Man Standing (1996)

The great thing about 90s action movies was that no one ever had to reload...EVER!

Last Man Standing is a classic 90s action movie starring one of the three main men of action, Bruce "I'll Die Harder" Willis. Not only do you get Willis in this one but famed B-movie megastar, Bruce Dern, and...(wait for it)...CHRISTOPHER FUCKIN' WALKEN playing a hired gun baddy who is so badass that not only did he murder his parents by slitting their throats when he was an infant but then he burnt down the orphanage they stuck him in afterwards. Now that's badass...

Here's the story: Willis plays John Smith, a gun-slinging loner who stumbles into a Texas town run by two rival gangs during 1930s Prohibition. Since he's so hardcore, he joins BOTH gangs and just guns down everyone for cold, hard cash. Then, for no reason at all, he turns into a total pussy and helps two sluts who are banging the heads of each gang...which totally pisses these dudes off, ya know. So they mess him up and then Smith has to just fuckin' lay waste to everyone, firing as many bullets single-handedly as were used in the entire Afghanistan War. The end.

The action is way, way, way over the top to a ridiculous degree. The action is more over the top than the movie, Over the Top (all right, maybe it's not that over the top). Even though the guns Smith carries hold about seven bullets, he activates his Infinite Ammo cheat and just sprays bullets everywhere. Each guy he kills he shoots about 47 times, some long after they're obviously dead. And the best part about this movie is that when he shoots someone, the act of shooting them actually suspends the laws of gravity and the victim flies about fifteen feet into the air like a helium balloon or does nine consecutive backflips like an Olympic gymnast. It's fairly badass.

And can I just end by saying that Bruce Willis has a great "gun face." You know, the expression he wears while he's firing a gun. It's pretty good. I'm not sure it's Antonio Banderas in Desperado good but it's still pretty good. The picture below from College Humor is a pretty good example of what Willis's face looks like the entire movie...

Why It's Awesome: This movie really marks one of the last straight-up badass tough guy movies of the 90s before everyone turned into sopping wet pussies in the New Millennium. Once Matrix hit it big, the action genre officially died and was replaced by special effects bullshit.

Best Quote:

Finn: I guess you'll just have to kill me.

Smith: It'll hurt if I do.