Sunday, October 14, 2012

Hellraiser (1987)


Who knew that demons could be kinky, too?

Hellraiser is another cult-favorite horror movie that I had never seen before. My only connection to this movie is that my son is named after the title. I figured it was a typical demon-attacks-humans flick focusing on some dude with nails stuck in his head.

I was wrong.

This movie reminded me a lot of the original Evil Dead. A man and his wife move into an old house and accidentally resurrect the man's brother who escapes from an S&M club in Hell (the brother is also the wife's former lover). The brother comes back as a gross fetus zombie and needs the wife to kill horny businessmen in order to fully resurrect. The S&M demons (including Pinhead, who is never called Pinhead, by the way) want the brother back for more leather-clad spanking so they're not happy about the whole thing.

It's another flick that proves low-budget special effects from the 80s are far superior than big-budget CGI. Brother Frank is absolutely disgusting in his fetus zombie form. He's skinless and bloody and veiny. Then you've got the truly disturbing S&M Cenobites (Pinhead and his kinky BFFs). They're clad in leather with pins and needles sticking out of their faces all totally hardcore and shit. There's even the upside-down hotdog monster that lives in the wall of the hospital that looks pretty creepy.

For some reason there's nothing creepier than a middle-aged crazy chick. Frank must have a ten-lb. cock because Julia is willing to straight-up murder three or four strangers with a hammer for a dude who doesn't even have any skin. You also get a nice view of her naked arse and some side boob which is something you would never see in a modern movie from a chick that age.

Overall it's a fun flick. I'm convinced that the lack of funds forced these directors to compensate in other areas and that's what make these low-budget horror flicks so damn great. The story is fun, the acting solid enough, and the special effects creepy. This movie gave birth to a whole line of much shittier movies so you have to give it credit for that.

JESUS WEPT!

Why It's Awesome:

Opening a Chinese puzzle box opens a portal to a demon S&M club. Just one more reason why the Chinese are fucked up.

Best Quote:

Pinhead: No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering.

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