Troll 2 (1990)

Here it is in all its awful glory…THE BEST WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME!


And this isn’t just my opinion. This is science! Troll 2 (which doesn’t have a single troll in it) was ranked as the #1 worst movie ever made for quite a while on IMDB and there’s even a documentary about the movie called Best Worst Movie (check it out on Netflix).

This movie has all the best worst movie elements. Atrocious special effects (the goblins are retarded midgets wearing paper mache masks), absolutely diarrhea-inducing acting by people literally pulled off the streets (the dad was a dentist by trade and some of the extras were legit mental patients), and a story that makes so little sense your head will implode if you think about it too much.

Troll 2 is about a family from the city who participates in a home exchange program (there’s no such thing) with a country family who lives in a town called NILBOG (Goblin spelled backwards!). The town is actually the kingdom of a clan of vegetarian goblins who feed people green shit that transforms people into half plant/half human puddles that the goblins can eat. Nope…not a lick of sense…

It’s one of those movies that truly must be seen to be believed. Here’s just a sample of the craptacular acting. The scene is considered in most movie circles to be the worst line ever delivered in any movie…ever (notice the fly on the kid's head at the climax, too):

Here are some things you’ll learn from watching Troll 2:

- If you have crappy costumes and masks, the best thing to do is shoot all the scenes involving those things in broad daylight to truly highlight how awful they are.

- Ghosts can freeze time, transform into hobos, and provide small children with Molotov cocktails.

- Coffee is the devil’s drink.

- The best way to hide your obvious homosexuality is to sleep naked in a camper with three other dudes while incessantly talking about “getting laid.”

- The sexiest food…is corn on the cob.

- Fuck a gun! The ultimate weapon is a double decker bologna sandwich!

- You don’t piss on hospitality!

Why It's Awesomely Terrible:

Anyone who loves movies must watch this movie to see what it looks like when everything goes wrong…in all the right ways possible!

Best Quote:
 
Michael: Do you see this writing? Do you know what it means? HOSPITALITY! And you can't piss on hospitality!