Mac and Me (1988)

And the crapfest continues...

Ask Paul Rudd what the cheesiest movie of the 80's is and he'll tell you, emphatically, it's easily Mac and Me, an hour and forty minute commercial more so than a feature film.
If you haven't seen this 80's shit stain and you're in to terrible movies, you must. This one is a classic...of awfulness. Basically they take E.T. and copy the script scene-for-scene and just make everything stupid.

Their movie equation is as follows:
Single parent + kid in wheelchair + alien puppet = EPIC FAIL!

This movie is infamous for its blatant product placement and its reputation is well earned. Both the human characters and aliens drink a dozen Cokes throughout the course of the movie and the most mind-blowingly retarded scene takes place at a McDonalds where black people gather and dance in the parking lot (as blacks are wont to do) and then the whites perform perfectly choreographed dances inside with Ronald McDonald...not to mention that the alien's name is MAC (Mysterious Alien Creature, my ass!).

The best part of the movie is the end where the father alien actually murders the kid in the wheelchair after blowing up a grocery store with his gat (I swear I'm not making any of this up). That's right; the alien disarms a security gun, takes his gun, and holds the people in the store hostage until he's supplied with a lifetime supply of Coca-Cola (All right, that's made up). And even though you know the aliens will bring the kid back to life, it's still pretty awesome that the creators actually thought it was a good idea to kill a kid in a wheelchair.

"We'll be back!" No alien puppet family, you won't.

Why It's God-Awful: Take everything you loved about E.T. (which for me was nothing) and replace it with cheap puppets, Coca-Cola, and Ronald McDonald...then take a liquid dump on that and serve it on two slices of dogshit. Tada! Mac and Me a la mode.

Best Quote:
Michael: You know what I feel like?
Eric: A Big Mac?
Michael: The man's psychic!