Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995)

This is a movie that has grown on me over time. No, it's not Die Hard (the single greatest action movie ever made), but it's a fun movie with plenty of action and a great buddy-comedy dynamic. Before we go any further, let's do the order:

1) Die Hard

2) Die Hard with a Vengeance

3)Die Hard 2: Die Harder

4: Die Hard: Die Hardest

5: Live Free or Die Hard

Talk about great fucking movie titles. Die Hard with a Vengeance is the single greatest sequel title ever written by man. Imagine how much more successful other movies would be if they followed Die Hard's formula. Toy Story hit it big at the box office over the summer, but how huge would it have been if it had been called Toy Story...WITH A VENGEANCE!

But on to the movie. The first hour of this thing is stellar...just non-stop action. We've got John McClane back in New York, teaming up with the greatest black sidekick of the 90's, Samuel L. Jackson, running around solving riddles spun by the voice of Scar from Lion King, Jeremy Irons. Beast! Is there a more creative scene in any movie than John McClane walking around Harlem wearing a sandwich board that reads "I HATE NIGGERS"? If there is, I sure as hell haven't seen it. And the insane drive through Central Park? Just great stuff here.

But after the first hour, things start to fall apart. They stray from the original script and it's obvious because the riddles (which were the most interesting part of the first hour) disappear and are replaced by your usual cliche 90's action scenes. Sure, the elevator fight scene is badass, but, following the subway blast, things go downhill fast until they bottom out at the "Nuking the Fridge" moment with John surfing a dump truck...yeah...

And the ending? What the fuck happened? The entire finale at the truck depot is an EPIC FAIL! They should have stuck with the original ending where Simon gets away with the heist and John meets up with him at a bar and they play a game of chicken with a Chinese rocket launcher. Now that's worth a YIPPEE KI AYE, MOTHER FUCKER!

Why It's Awesome: The moral of the movie is simple: Don't go to school or you'll die in a terrible Jell-O explosion. Zues encourages his nephews to go to school and they almost die. This is a movie every child should see.

Best Quote Besides Yippee-Kai-Aye, mother fucker:

Simon (on the walkie-talkie): Nils, you can close up now. [no response] Nils!

McClane (on walkie-talkie): Attention! Attention! Nils is dead! I repeat, Nils is dead, fuck-head!