In honor of the premiere of Breaking Dawn Part II, the movie franchise that ruined vampire movies and turned one of cinema's most terrifying creatures into pussified pansies, I'm reviewing one of the few films in the past decade to portray vampires at the truly badass creatures of the night they are meant to be...30 Days of Night!
Based on the graphic novel, the premise for the movie is brilliant. Vampires invade Borrow, Alaska during the month the town will be without sun for a 30-day all-you-can-eat buffet. So not only does this movie have the usual horror movie thrills , but it also has a groovy Ann Frank vibe to it as the survivors try to outlast the horde of vampires for 30 days.
Oh, and the vampires? They are BADASS! These mother fuckers aren't glittering in the sunlight like a bunch of pansies. No, these are straight-up predators. Fuck fangs! These vampires have a mouth full of shark teeth! Do they have to ask permission to enter your house? Nah. They'll just break in, murder your entire family, and skewer you with a hot fireplace poker. They're constantly covered in blood and they hunt in packs and leap on people like rapid wolves and tear out people's throats and speak gibberish that no one understands! It's awesome!
The vampires are so hardcore I can even overlook the fact that Josh "Pearl Harbor" Hartnett is the lead. Most of the cast is nothing but blood donors, but they're serviceable. The movie is dark and avoids many of the usual horror movie cliches. The violence is brutal and bloody, there are no funny quips or one-liners, and the movie relies more on atmosphere than cheap scares. Oh, and it also wins an award for refusing to cut away during an axe decapitation. They straight up show that shit.
And the ending? It's right up there with The Mist as one of the top endings of the oughts. Here's the scenario: Josh Hartnett's estranged wife and some kid who shows up out of nowhere are trapped under a car while the entire town burns all around them and the vampires celebrate their total ass rapage of the town. They're either going to burn to death or get their asses drained of blood...unless Pearl Harbor boy does something. So he actually INFECTS HIMSELF WITH VAMPIRE BLOOD so he can fight the head vamp, Marlow, all jacked up on vampire blood. So Josh and Marlow duke it out until Josh PUNCHES THROUGH THE DUDE'S SKULL! So awesome. Then the final scene of the movie is Josh's face burning off as the sun rises on the horizon.
Now that's how you end a fucking movie!
Why It's Awesome:
This is what vampires should be: brutal, blood-thirsty, and obviously Eastern European. FUCK TWILIGHT!
Best Quote:
Marlow: When man meets a force he can't destroy, he destroys himself. What a plague you are.
I like your review, and I'm glad you liked film. I'm not sure why so many people dislike this film. It's an original idea, in an original setting, with some really creepy vampires. what's not to like? While the plot maybe mediocre I think there are enough great elements to add up to an awesome flick.
ReplyDeleteI just reviewed this film myself on my blog. And being a fresh film critic I'm always looking for more feedback. And you are a good reviewer. ;)If you get the chance check it out.
http://horrormoviemedication.blogspot.com/2013/02/30-days-of-night.html