There is no greater badass in the New Millennium than Liam Neeson. Want proof? This is the man who trained Batman AND Obi-Wan Kenobi, discovered Darth Vader, single-handedly murdered an entire pack of wolves, led the A-Team, killed the Titans, returned from the dead as a Jesus lion, and saved over a thousand Jews!
So why, in the holy hell, would anyone dare kidnap the man's daughter? Don't they know he has a particular set of skills that make him a nightmare for Albanians who turn spoiled rich brats into crack whores?
In this ultimate badass outing, Neeson plays Brian Mills, an ex-CIA badass whose annoying teenage daughter (who he had with The Phoenix from X-Men) gets TAKEN by a group of Albanian human traffickers ten minutes after she lands in Paris on a trip to follow U2 on their European tour (serves her right for liking U2). So Neeson has to travel to Paris and kill half the population of Albany (where I assume Albanians are from) in order to save his daughter and her precious hymen.
There are so many straight-up badass-like-a-boss scenes in this movie I don't even know where to begin!
The most badass of these features Neeson walking into the den of the kidnappers in the guise of a corrupt French police official (is there any other kind?). As he's walking through the house, he's looking at each Albanian he passes like "I'm gonna fight you, I'm gonna fight you, you're dead, gonna throw a knife into your chest..." and so forth and then he straight up murders everyone in the house.
Then the most like-a-boss scene involves Neeson going to this French dude's house for information. Instead of just asking politely like a normal man he invites himself over for dinner and shoots the dude's totally innocent wife and threatens to slaughter their children while they sleep unless Frenchie tells him what he wants to know. Now THAT'S a badass, my friends!
The next time someone borrows a pen from me and forgets to return it I'm hiring Liam Neeson to get it back...HARD!
Why It's Awesome:
There's a sequel coming out in October called Taken 2: Tooken where more Albanians show up and TAKE Neeson's wife and then they try to TAKE Neeson! What?! Didn't these people watch the first movie? Didn't they see what happened when someone took the thing that came out of his wife's vagina? Now someone is going to take the vagina?! Shit is gonna get FUCKED UP!
Best Quote:
Mills: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
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