And now...the thrilling conclusion to Quentin Tarantino's revenge epic, KILL BILL...or not.
What should have been the action-packed denouement to Tarantino's best flick falls way flat. It's a steep decline from the Crazy-88 slicing and dicing the first half has to offer. This time around the Bride earns back her name, finishes off the rest of the DiVAS, kills Bill, and reclaims her daughter, B.B.
The only problem is that all of this happens in the least interesting and exciting way possible.
After the retelling of the events at Two Pines, we open in the desert with easily the most complex character in the movie, Budd (played by the always amazing Michael Madsen). Budd is a broken man. He's out of shape, broke, and works in a POS titty bar. His life is shit. And yet, Budd is the only person in the movie capable of gaining a victory over the Bride, thus proving that even the deadliest woman is no match for the most slovenly man (I'm pretty sure that was the point Tarantino was trying to make). Budd's victory also shows what happens when a samurai steps foot in a Western - she gets her ass blown away by a double-barrel shotgun.
The Budd/Elle confrontations are where this movie fails to achieve LEGENDARY status. The Bride's mission is to gain revenge on each individual who played a role in the wedding day massacre. In that mission, she fails. She epically fails to kill Budd, and, even though the showdown between the Bride and Elle in the trailer is pretty sweet, the Bride leaves Elle alive (although the eye squish is fairly epic in its own right).
And if those showdowns are disappointing, the showdown between the Bride and Bill is like waking up on Christmas morning to discover your parents have converted to Judaism. The ending is so un-Quentin-like it's mind-boggling. I realize that's the point, to have a very personal verbal confrontation between two ex-lovers, but we still could have had a sweet sword fight to end things. I mean, this is what we've been building to for nearly four hours! And what we get is fight that lasts less than thirty seconds and where neither participant leaves his or her seat! WHAT?! Apparently the samurai sword fight on the beach, bathed in the moonlight was supposed to actually happen, but the film ran long so what we get is a total waste of Carradine's talents.
Even as a single movie, I still feel like everything that happened after the Crazy-88 fight would be disappointing. As a single movie, Volume 2 falls short of its predecessor, and that should never be the case when comparing the first part to a second part. If you title your movie Kill Bill, you better FUCKING KILL BILL...HARD!
Why It's Awesome: It's not. It falls short as the conclusion to one of the most epic revenge tales in cinema. Still, punching your way through your own coffin, the trailer fight, Pai Mai, and the cleft lip chick are all pretty sweet.
Best Quote:
Bud: Wakey, wakey...eggs and bakey.
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