Child's Play (1988)

Why is it that all the best and cheesiest horror movies were made in the 80's? Oh yeah...because the 80's ROCKED...hard!

When I think of Child's Play, I think of Chucky delivering cheesy one-liners and the ridiculousness of a two-foot dolling murdering grown men. Honestly, how ashamed would you be if you were murdered by a two-foot, red-headed DOLL? You'd welcome death because you'd feel like such a fucking pussy.

But there's a reason why this movie spawned 18 sequels: The original is actually pretty fucking good. I wouldn't use the word "scary," but I'd definitely use the words "suspenseful" and "entertaining." The first 45 minutes of this movie really impressed me because I was expecting to be laughing at all the cheeseball antics of a serial killer running around in a doll's body, but that's not what I got. See, for the first 45 minutes, Chucky doesn't say anything. It's just Andy (the little bitch boy) speaking for him and there is some question as to whether the doll is really alive or if Andy is a little psycho boy (or at least there would be if you had never seen this shit before).

And those first 45 minutes of solid suspense make it even MORE powerful when Andy's mom threatens to toss Chucky into the fire and he suddenly comes to life and screams, "Fuck you, you fucking bitch!" Now THAT'S an entrance! Oh, and the ending? Talk about OVERKILL. First they burn the little bastard, then they shoot him into several different body parts, then they shoot him at close range, and FINALLY, to end Chucky once and for all, they shoot the Chuckster in the heart. Now that's what I want to see in my horror villain, a tough mother fucker who comes back again and again for cheap, "Is he dead YET?!" thrills.

On a personal note, I had a special place in my heart for Chucky because I had the boy doll that inspired him, My Buddy. Anyone who doesn't know who My Buddy is should die. He was a giant doll for boys and if you had him, you weren't gay at all. Anyways, I beat the shit out of My Buddy every chance I got just in case he came alive he'd know who was the boss and who was the bitch. Wanna play?

Why It's Awesome: A serial killer transfers his soul into a doll and then goes on a murder rampage in his new plastic body. How could that NOT be good?

Best Quote:

Lady in the Elevator: What an ugly doll.

Chucky: Fuuuuck you.