Sunday, February 13, 2011

Short Circuit (1986)



In honor of Valentine's Day, I'm reviewing the greatest love story of our time, Short Circuit. I can't think of anything more pure than the love between a woman and a robot that has miraculously come to life after being struck by lightning.



My favorite part of the movie is the scene beatween Stephanie and Number 5 where they're dancing and it's starting to get weird and you start thinking to yourself, "Are they gonna do it?" It seems like a possibility since Number 5 has a huge metal, wang-like protrusion that looks like it could do some serious damage to Stephanie's vaginal crevice. Number 5's wang makes a black guy's dick look like an Asian guy's dick.


Moving on from the robot on human sexual relations, this movie reeks of the 80's. You've got Steve Guttenburg (who starred in over 70% of all 80's movies) in the lead, accompanied by his buddy, Lt. Harris, as the villain, playing...well, Lt. Harris, a not-that-hot female lead, and a strange "outsider" who knows nothing of the real world and learns how to do three stooges impressions. The MOST 80's part of the movie, however, is the fact that you've got a whiter-than-white guy playing a guy from India in the most stereotypical way possible. You could NOT get away with that kind of racial bullshit in today's PC world. Take THAT, India!

I honestly can't understand why this movie has such a shit rating on IMDB. A 6.2, people? C'mon! This is classic 80's stuff here. Number 5 is fucking hilarious. If nothing else, at least it's better than any of the Twilight movies. BURN!


Why It's Awesome: Basically they took the original Terminator film and made it a comedy. Plus the anticipation of watching Number 5 pound that hippie's hairy bush is worth a watch.

Best Quote:

Ben (speaking of Stephanie): I am thinking she is a virgin...or at least she used to be.

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