If you enjoyed The Hunger Games...then you're a pussy.
Battle Royale is the Japanese predecessor that HG was totally ripped off from, and it kicks so much more ass than Jennifer Lawrence's totally weak bullshit, it makes the teenage murder in HG look like a friendly game of laser tag. No one knows how to do violence in the movie like the Japanese and this is their magna opus.
The storyline is almost identical to that of Hunger Games (and both were ripped off Stephen King's Running Man), but there are some subtle differences to the set-up. In a dystopia future, Japan's youth have grown disrespectful and violent. So, to teach them a lesson, a reality show has been created where 42 junior high students (21 with penises and 21 without) are dumped on an island and forced to fight to the death until only one remains. Now that's tough love!
The rules for the game are so much better in this movie, too. Instead of that horn-of-plenty bullshit Hunger Games has going on, each kid gets a backpack full of supplies and a random weapon ranging from uzis to katanas to a saucepan lid (ZONK!). Each contestant is also fitted with a collar so they can be tracked or randomly killed if things get boring. Every six hours certain sections of the island turn into random "instant death zones" so it keeps the contestants moving. The best part is that if there isn't a winner after three days, they just kill all the kids! How awesome is that?
Because there are so many contestants, most of them are just fodder for the gratuitous violence, but there are a couple main characters. The two main protagonists are a boy/girl combo who try to keep each other alive by teaming up with this badass kid who was a previous winner of the show and returned to figure out the mystery of why his girlfriend tried to kill him at the end of their game and then smiled after he killed her (it doesn't really make any sense). The BEST character, though, is this totally insane redhead kid who actually volunteered to be on the show just because he's a hardcore psycho! This kid is so badass. He kills, like, half the contestants, and he doesn't utter a single word throughout the entire movie. There's also this hardcore slut who is pretty badass, too.
The only problem with the movie is that, because it's a Japanese film, there are a lot of Asians in it (makes sense). The problem with that, though, is that I discovered that I'm not very good with telling Asians apart from each other. I'm telling you, all these kids looked EXACTLY the same and they were all wearing the same school uniform so it was impossible to tell who was who. I kept thinking the two main characters had been killed, but then it would turn out to be two other Asians. I thought they died five different times in the movie only to discover them walking around in the next scene. They should have color-coded each actor for the convenience of a Western audience, just a magenta splash right on the forehead so I can properly keep track of the carnage.
This move was too hardcore to be released in theaters, but you can check it out on Netflix instant streaming. Just be warned, after you watch it, you won't be able to watch Hunger Games or any of its stupid sequels ever again because they will just seem so goddamn pathetic. Seriously. Those Japs know how to kill a 12-year old girl like a boss.
Why It's Awesome:
It's Hunger Games but it shows how that shit would ACTUALLY go down with axes to the head and scythes to the jugular and arrows to the heart. Oh, and Jennifer Lawrence's wooden acting is not present. Another plus.
Best Quote:
Chigusa: Shouldn't you be worried about your life instead of that useless micropenis of yours?
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