The reason Return of the King is one of my favorite movies is that it is the culmination (CULMINATION!) of the greatest film trilogy known to man (sit down, George Lucas!). I saw this movie in the theaters and I wept during the final credits...wept like Leonardo DiCaprio after yet another Oscar snub, and I'm not even ashamed to admit it. Individually, the three movies in the LotR trilogy are excellent movies, but, together, they make Baby Jesus weep tears of joy at their perfection. Watch the entire series back-to back-to back and you will know exactly what I'm talking about (as long as you have an extra 27 hours at your disposal).
With that in mind, I'm going to mock the movie because that's what I usually do, but please know that I do so with love...nothing but love. Soooooo...
...how much of a pussy is Frodo? Honestly? My favorite moment of the entire movie is when Sam has to LITERALLY carry the entire quest on his shoulders like he's metaphorically been doing since the dissolution of the Fellowship. I remember as a young lad reading about Frodo's "death" at the hands of the spider with the name of a black woman from Brooklyn and actually CHEERING. Then, of course, we learn that Frodo is not actually dead, and I cannot even describe my disappointment. I've never felt disappointment after learning that someone is still alive, but I did when I discovered that Frodo was just useless and not DOA.
The only problem I have with the EPIC battle scenes in the last two movies is that they all end the exact same way: with a MIRACULOUS late arrival of some ally force that turns the tide of the battle. I get the whole "no matter what the odds are good will overcome evil if they have the strength to persevere" thing, but, seriously. c'mon! The Battle of Helm's Deep ends with the MIRACULOUS arrival of Gandalf and his Rohan Riders. The Battle of Minas Tirith includes two MIRACULOUS arrivals with the Rohan army's arrival and then, when that goes to shit, Aragorn shows up with his ghost army (which is kind of ridiculous and a bit too deus ex machina). Oh, and let's not forget the MIRACULOUS arrival of the eagles (who didn't do shit the entire War of the Ring) when Frodo and Sam are about to take a nice, hot lava bath.
The thing most people ignore about the books and film is that Tolkien is a hardcore racist. All the people fighting the Dark Lord are straight-up white folk (the elves are, like, the whitest of white people) and then all the allies of Sauron are black or Middle Eastern. They're even referred to as corrupt men from "The East." Tolkien could have served as George W. Bush's Secretary of Propaganda. The message is clear: In Middle Earth, if you ain't white, you ain't right.
In spite of all that and anything else one can say about the movie, that final scene were Frodo, Gandalf, and the elves leave Middle Earth to go to Elf Heaven (or whatever the hell it is) is absolute cinematic perfection. As the boat disappears into the vanilla sky, you can't help but recognize you're not only saying good-bye to some of the most beloved characters in literature (and Frodo) but also the single greatest cinematic fantasy epic known to man, elves, or dwarves.
Why It's Awesome: A midget and his gay lover topple the Lord of Darkness. Is there a better underdog story in literature or cinema (besides Rocky)?
Best Quote:
Sam: Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you, you bitch!
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