"Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads."
And so ends one of, if not THE, greatest 80s movie of all-time and so begins a hot mess of a sequel.
Really the sequel is three movies in one (2015 future, Paradox 1985, Return to 1955) and we'll look at all three separately. No matter which time period Marty stumbles into, one thing is constant: Biff Tannen is a total BADASS!
THE FUTURE (2015)
Everything about Marty and Doc's visit to the future is dumb. If not for the hoverboard, this would be a total loss. First of all, the reason for going there is stupid. If Doc is so worried about interfering in future events, why would he bring Marty and Jennifer into the FUTURE to INTERFERE with FUTURE EVENTS? And why bring them into the future at all? Why not just tell Marty not to race a Rolls Royce in the future and avoid the whole damn thing? I also love how they leave Jennifer unconscious in an alley. Apparently there are no rapists in the future (unlike 1955 where EVERYONE is a rapist).
Since this movie takes place in the year 2015 and we're just three years away, let's see how close the two Bobs came to accurately predicting the future:
Hover Cars...UNCHECK!
Stupid 3D movies of ridiculous sequels...CHECK!
Weather control...UNCHECK!
Stupid fashion...CHECK!
Cars run on garbage...UNCHECK!
Teens obsessed with technology...CHECK!
Self-lacing shoes...ummm, that one's tough because they do exist but only because of this movie
If the future is lame, Paradox 1985 makes up for it in shear and unadulterated AWESOMENESS! This is the world according to Biff. I don't know what Marty gets so upset about (besides the death of his father) because Paradox 1985 is a BIFFTOPIA! Public education has been done away with (it was failing anyways), the economy is thriving with the state raking in heaps of money from Biff's casino, and the women in Paradox 1985 have WAY bigger boobs than in regular 1985.
RETURN TO 1955
As stupid and full of plot holes as this movie is, credit the Bobs for one of the smartest moves in cinematic history. They knew their movie was lame so they said, "Hey! Why don't we just send the characters back into the movie we already know kicks ass?!" And thus Marty and Doc traveled back to Back to the Future and further reminded us why that movie was great and this movie is no better than Jaws 19.
In conclusion, I just wanna say one thing...God bless America!
It's Saving Grace: If it weren't for the Biff Tannen taking his villainy to ludicrous levels, this movie would plummet into the depths of craptitude. During the sequel, he adds homicide, illegal time immigration, gambling fraud, spousal abuse, another attempted vehicular homicide, and misdemeanor perversion to his rap sheet.
Best Quote:
Young Biff: Why don't you make like a tree...and get out of here?
Old Biff: It's leave, you idiot! Make like a tree and leave. You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong!
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