Cliffhanger (1993)

Now this is classic 90s Stallone and one that often falls under the action movie radar...CLIFFHANGER!

Easily one of the best openings to any action movie ever (so famous Ace Ventura 2 parodied it in its opening sequence) where Stallone has to go save his best friend's bitch from the top of a mountain because his friend is a pussy and hurt his leg and the dumb bitch is too lazy to climb her fat ass down. So Sly comes up there climbing 10,000 feet with his bare hands and sends this dumb cunt over to a helicopter on a long wire and her safety equipment fails, sending her dangling from her safety harness over miles of nothing but air and certain death. So Sly, like the pimp that he is, goes out there to save her and when the dumb bitch falls anyway, his friend blames HIM for her falling, which completely kicks logic in the balls because she was falling long before Sly went out to get her, but you know what? Who cares about logic?! It's fucking CLIFFHANGER!

This movie is so balls-out awesome that it's in the Guinness Book of World Records for including the most expensive stunt ever performed in a film. In what can only be described as ludicrously dangerous, a zip line is connected from one plane flying in midair to another and some FUCKING INSANE guy zips from one plane to the other plane flying exactly 210,000 miles in the stratosphere! That guy got paid a cool million to do that shit. If they made this movie today, instead of paying some stuntman with balls of steel to perform a stunt that will instantly murder him, they'd have some pussy on a computer create the scene with blue cat people dancing around looking like fucking cartoon characters on a green screen. That's the difference between hardcore 90s action movies and the computer-generated bullshit of today. The 90s had balls, but we've got a sopping wet pussy generated on a computer.

In addition to all THAT, you've got a stalagmite (or is it stalactite?) kill, some of the best "action running as something in the background explodes) shots ever, and John Lithgow playing one of the most cliche "elegant but deadly" bad guys in cinema history. GOD THE 90S KICKED ASS! Everyone was rich and employed and action movies consisted of actual real-life ACTION. In conclusion, I just wanna say one thing...God bless America!

Why It's Awesome: Stallone is so hardcore he fights off the effects of hypothermia wearing nothing but a wet t-shirt in -11 degree weather. Jackets are for PUSSIES!

Best Quote:

Travers: FETCH!!! (screaming into Sly's face like he's a dog).