Only in the 80s could Hollywood make a movie based on trading cards ripped off of a popular toy. I used to love the trading cards when I was a kid. They were totally disgusting and just plain weird. I'm not sure why they were marketed to kids because they were totally inappropriate for young children.
So...yeah...this movie totally blows. I literally said, "What the fuck?!" aloud 19 times during my viewing. The main "story" (if that's what you want to call it) centers around the liberation of seven disgusting midget puppets from a single garbage can; these midgets possess various disgusting habits ranging from farting to blowing snot to vomiting to pissing...oh, and then there's a giant baby, a greaser, and a fucking alligator named...wait for it...Ali Gator. FAIL!
Literally nothing in this movie makes sense. Let me just list some of the major offenses:
1) The main character, Dodger, is a 14-year old boy who's love interest is a 30-year old woman.
2) Dodger doesn't seem to have any parents or a home to live in. He simply works for a creepy magician who I assume molests him.
3) Dodger is routinely assaulted by 30-year old street thugs who run an underground shitty clothes ring. No police seem to be present...EVER.
4) No one seems to acknowledge or recognize the fact that Tangerine's clothes look like absolute dogshit...even for 80s standards.
5) The musical score is basically a note-for-note ripoff of the 48 Hours theme song.
6) The Garbage Pail Kids don't seem to care that they've been wrongfully imprisoned for what I assume to be years by Captain Manzini in a garbage can that somehow holds seven midgets.
And I could go on like that forever but I won't. There are some parts of this movie that are so dumb they're hilarious. The names of the locations are so blunt that they deserve a chuckle. The locations include "The Sweatshop," "The Toughest Bar in the World," and "The State Home for the Ugly" where ugly people are straight-up murdered. The prisoners include a clown, a caveman, and Santa Clause. Take that Saint Nick!
Why It Sucks Donkey Balls: These midget puppets are just plain creepy. Their mouths don't even match up with what they're saying. Then there's the music, the acting, the story, the directing, and pretty much anything else between the opening credits and the end credits is just plain garbage pail bullshit.
Best Quote:
Blythe: Those are my kinds of guys - real psychos.
Tangerine: Watch it, Blythe, Juice is mine!
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