Friday, June 18, 2010

Gladiator (2000)



Easily in my top ten of ALL TIME.


You want a movie that kicks ass but without all the cheesiness of a Schwarzenegger film? Gladiator is your flick.


The cast is outstanding. Russell Crowe may be a dickhead in real life, but he acted the shit out of Maximus. Joaquin Phoenix steals the show, though, as Commodus. Talk about creepy! The whole incestuous love affair with his sister, the murdering of the father, the death threats on his nephew's life...the guy's a real asshole! Props to the supporting cast as well, especially Oliver Reed who lived just long enough to finish the flick.


I was discussing this movie with a friend not too long ago, and I think I stumbled on why exactly the movie is so damn good. And here it is: There aren't any slow or boring parts. There's not a single part in the movie where you're like, "Oh, I can't wait for this to be over so I can get to this next part." THE ENTIRE MOVIE IS AWESOME!

The opening battle? AWESOME!


The death of Maximus's family? AWESOME!


Maximus becoming a gladiator in Zucchabar? AWESOME!


Maximus going to the Colosseum? AWESOME!

Maximus fighting Tiger guy? AWESOME!


Maximus vs. Commodus? Ehh...less awesome but still, overall, the movie is fucking AWESOME!


It's just a balls to the walls awesome movie from beginning to end.


It also contains one of my favorite scenes in any movie...EVER!


Maximus walks out of the holding cell for the gladiators toward the shitty fighting arena in Zucchabar. All the other gladiators are sitting on their asses prepared to do jack shit. Maximus strolls out into the arena where there are a dozen huge ass warriors wearing tin pots on their heads and wielding axes and chains and shit. Maximus totally KICKS ASS and kills every single one of those bastards. The entire stadium is silent. Then Maximus starts yelling at the fans, verbally pwning them in the process and making it fairly clear that he hates their guts. Silence. Then, a single voice starts chanting "Spaniard! Spaniard!" and eventually the entire place is going apeshit for Maximus. Sweet...


Why It's Awesome: A revenge flick set in the Colosseum of Ancient Rome FTW. There's nothing better than a well done revenge flick. Kill a guy's family and make the guy a badass and you're in for a double helping of awesomeness.


Best Quote:

Commodus: It vexes me. I'm terribly vexed.

1 comment:

  1. The best part about the movie is that there really isn't any romance...that's what makes for a good movie. Commodus's sister is hot for Maximus but that never really becomes a major plot element. I applaud Gladiator for shunning romance!

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