Drop Dead Fred (1991)

One word: UNDERRATED!

I'm always blown away by the number of people who have never seen this fucking movie. Let me tell you, if Jim Carrey had landed the role of Drop Dead Fred instead of Rik Mayyal (who does a fantastic job with the role, but let's face it, he's far from being a household name), then this would be one of the great all-time classic comedies of the 90s (probably...).

The premise is ingenious in that it's custom-made for hilarity. A shy, doormat of a woman opens a jack-in-the-box and unleashes her childhood imaginary friend who quickly turns her life upside-down and helps her deal with her overbearing mother and her jerkoff husband. Just the idea of a grown-up having an imaginary friend is forcing small drops of urine into my boxers as I type...and not from my recent bladder issues but from uncontrollable HILARITY!

Really the movie is a classic "whacko character enters the ordinary life of a normal individual and turns the whole thing upside-down but in a good way" premise. I feel like there's a million of these movies but not a single one comes to mind. Sure, some of the humor is sophomoric with poo, fart, and booger jokes galore but I imagine that's the kind of humor all our imaginary friends engaged in when we were kids. The best stuff comes as a result of no one else being able to see Fred except for Phoebe Cates (keeping her top on in this one) and him manipulating her hands or conversations that take place between Cates and (at least from everyone else's perspective) no one.

Drop Dead Fred also has genuine heart, and I think it deals with the trials and tribulations of transitioning from an almost-adult into full blown adulthood while tip-toeing on the right side of cheesy over sentimentality. It's the kind of movie that couldn't exist in today's blockbuster movie industry (even though they're trying to remake it with Russel Brand), but flourished in the 80s and early 90s, the kind of movie that made you laugh and still said something worth saying.

Watching Fred's antics always reminds me of my own imaginary friend who used to appear on the ceilings of bathrooms I used to use and watched me pee, but that's a story for another day...

Why It's Awesome: An adult with an imaginary friend...great premise and Fred's zany antics and occasional claymation gag fulfill the promise of the premise nicely.

Best Quote:

Fred: "You see, when something's not working, the best thing to do is tear it apart to make it better."

High Fidelity (2000)

Recently during a movie discussion with an associate, I was asked the most annoying question any movie person can be asked: "You've never seen (fill in the blank of a movie speaker CAN'T BELIEVE you've never seen)?!!" And, to get the full effect, you need to picture the person asking the question like you've just stated that you've never heard of Martin Luther King Jr. or George Washington. Although I do enjoy movies, believe it or not, I have yet to watch every movie in the fucking world...although I am working on it.

The movie that filled in the blank was High Fidelity, a movie my associate claimed "every movie person should see." Well, my friend, I have seen it and I fucking HATED IT. Now, I can see why it's considered a "movie person's movie." The breaking of the fourth wall is done well and sets it apart from other flicks. The main character is presented as a flawed, realistic individual rather than some cliched lovesick likable underdog. The supporting cast is balls-out awesome with Jack Black at his comedic best, Todd Louiso stealing the show with his subtle acting, and Tim Robbins is perfect as the creepy, pony-tailed rebound fuck.

My reasons for despising this movie are mostly personal...check that, they're generational. This is a Gen X movie, plain and simple, and, as a member of the Millennials, I despise this movie on the basis that I despise everything Generation X stands for. The main character is a whiny, indecisive bitch who thinks he's superior to everyone and is "too cool" to put any effort into anything, least of all his relationships. No one displays any sense of morality in the movie, claiming to love one person while they sleep with another...dumb. At no point in the movie did I ever want Rob and Laura to get back together. In fact, I thought it would have been way more meaningful if Rob decided he didn't need a woman in his life to feel fulfilled and moved on on his own...no such luck.

So, again, I can see why people praise this movie, but i was born too late to get anything out of it. It's a generational thing, similar to why I don't suck my own dick over Citizen Kane or The Godfather. Power to the Millennials!

Why I'm Not Sold: The movie breaks cardinal sin #1 of film-making: the main character is unlikable and without sympathy for the protagonist, you're sitting on a mountain of dogshit.

Best Quote:

Rob: "Sometimes I got so sick of trying to touch her breasts I'd try to touch her between her legs. It was like trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down, and asking for 50 grand."

Back to School (1986)

This is one of those flicks that when it's on television, you gotta watch it...if only to give Rodney and the 80s the RESPECT they deserve. Yes, Rodney plays the exact same character as he played in Caddyshack, but it's hilarious so who gives a shit? The strange thing about this movie is that Rodney plays a rich asshole, who, in most movies, would be the antagonist, but in this movie he's a rich asshole you love. Only Dangerfield could pull that off.

This movie has a lot going for it. Let's do the list:

1) It's got Robert Downey "Iron Man" Jr. playing a blue-haired emo radical in a bit part...pretty hilarious considering he's playing second fiddle to a kid with a Jew fro who would never, ever be heard from again.

2) It's got Burt Young of Rocky fame (Uncle Pauly) playing Rodney's strongarm limo driver / body guard. He growls, beats the shit out of college students, and crumbles a metal napkin holder with his bare hand....awesome...

3) It's got one of the most famous assholes of the 80s in the guy who played Johney in Karate Kid playing...well, an asshole. "Sweep the leg, Johney! Sweep the leg!"

4) It's got Sam Kinison stealing the whole damn movie with his insane history teacher bit SCREAMING in Rodney Dangerfield's face. Great stuff...

5) And finally, a treat for all the English nerds out there (Me!), you've got Kurt Vonnegut in a cameo as himself. The best part is he writes the paper on himself for Melon and the English teacher reads it and says, "Whoever wrote this doesn't know the first thing about Kurt Vonnegut!" Hilaaaaaarious!

This is what the 80s was all about. Cheesy movies that were enjoyable to watch...much unlike the dogshit squeezed out into the theaters nowadays. The movie works because Rodney Dangerfield is totally likable and hilarious. Where have all the likable comedians gone?

Oh well...now you'll have to excuse me while I go practice my TRIPLE LINDY!

Why It's Awesome: A rich guy goes to college to convince his son not to drop out...sounds dumb...except the rich guy is RODNEY DANGERFIELD! Awesome...

Best Quote:

Melon: We were doomed from the start. I'm an Earth sign. She's a water sign. Together we made mud.