Howard the Duck (1986)

All right, after a short visit to the new millennium, we're heading back to the '80's...with a vengeance!

Howard the Duck...what the hell can you even say about this movie?

This is one of those movies where you realize that literally every single person working on this movie had to be on acid for months for this flick to even get made. The directors, the camera men, the writers, the stunt doubles, George Lucas...EVERYONE! Every single person had to be on acid or else this thing doesn't get made because all it would take is one person to say, "Wait a minute...we're making a movie about a fucking duck from outer space!" and everyone would come to their senses and move on to something else. Luckily for us, that never happened.

The cast, from a 2K10 perspective, is unreal:

You've got Lea Thomson of Back to the Future fame.

You've got Ed Rooney (Jeffrey Jones) from Ferris Bueller as the vessel for the Dark Overlord.

And you've got a young TIM ROBINS as a super geeky janitor/scientist! (He's hilarious in this by the way).

And then you've got a dozen midgets in a robotic duck suit.

There's about a 15 minute span in this movie where I laughed my ass off non-stop because of all the ridiculous 80's puns. The movie hits EPIC status as soon as Ed Rooney becomes infected by the Dark Overlord. From there, with a possessed man and being pursued by the cops, Howard and Marty McFly's mom decide to...stop at a diner and get something to eat. No, it doesn't make any sense, and it doesn't have to. What transpires from there is pure cinema gold. The Dark Overlord is explaining his plot to destroy the planet and Mrs. McFly and Howard just trade terrible quips for a solid five minutes. Here's a sample:

Dark Overlord: "I told you, I'm not Jennings anymore. The transformation is complete. I am now...someone else."

Howard: "Try telling that to your insurance company."

See? EPIC! It's so, so terribly epic.

The scene that has forever been burned into my memory is the scene where it's obvious that Beverly is going to have sex with this mutant duck, and it's so uncomfortable because you start thinking about his feathery dick and the mechanics of the whole thing. This movie also made me realize that the 80's is infamous for disturbing sex scenes (most of them include Lea Thomson by the way):

* A human girl banging a duck in Howard the Duck

*A mother banging her son in Back to the Future

*A grown woman banging a 13 year old boy in Big

* A grown woman banging a robot in Short Circuit

Maybe that's what I love about the 80's. Basically, the moral of the entire decade is that, after snorting enough coke, anyone can fuck just about anyone or anything...no matter what.

Why it's Awesome: It's a movie about a duck from outer space who bangs Marty McFly's mom AND Academy Award winner Tim Robbins is in it AND Ed Rooney!

Best Quote:

Dark Overlord: "Mmm...she took my eggs!" (This is one you have to hear first hand to appreciate. Go out and rent Howard the Duck immediately and enjoy!)