Garden State (2003)

I'm taking a short break from action and comedy flicks to bring you a review of a quirky independent drama written and directed by Zach Braff.

Before I get into what I like about this movie, let me just quickly say what keeps it from being great:

1) After seeing this movie four or five times now, the quirky characters are almost too quirky. Their quirkiness actually gets on your nerves with multiple viewings. It's the double mumbo-jumbo rule of screen writing. Does Sam have to be epileptic AND a compulsive liar? Can't she be just as interesting if she were one or the other?

2) Zach Braff just seems like a douchebag so it makes me like this movie less because he wrote, starred in, and directed this movie...so fuck him.

All right, with those factors aside, there is a lot to like about this movie.

I'm not sure a movie does a better job of expressing what it's like to be a Twixter (a person caught between college graduation and their 30th birthday). You've moved out of your parents' home and started a life of your own, you're probably not working at the job you dreamed you would be, you're lonely, and you continuously dream of the care-free days of your childhood, but you realize that you can never, ever get them back and the place you once considered your "home" will never be the same again. It's kind of depressing and confusing and slightly humorous at times and those are the emotions Garden State nails.

Speaking of "nailing," how about that Natalie Portman? It certainly doesn't hurt this movie to include her as the love interest. I must admit, I've had a boner for Natalie since I saw her in "The Professional" (Sweet ass movie by the way). I mean, those pigtails? C'mon! I'd like to grab onto those things...

But enough of my horniness. The acting is kind of dry, which it's supposed to be, but the characters do an extraordinary job of coming off as actual loser people you graduated with and you wouldn't want to ever run into again.

The soundtrack is amazing if you're into pussy emo music. It's the kind of soundtrack some pussy would make for a chick he liked and the chick would listen to it as she's sucking off her boyfriend and think of the guy who gave it to her and how pathetic he is. And with that description, you should know exactly what kind of music is on it.

Oh, the ending...it sucks. I always forget how it ends and that's probably because I don't want to remember. The main character gets on a plane only to get off the plane and return to his love interest...TOTAL CLICHE. Come on, Zach, you can do better than that! Although, I've watched Scrubs...maybe you can't...

Anyways, it's worth seeing if you like quirky, depressing, slightly humorous indie flicks starring the dude from Scrubs.

Why It's Slightly Awesome: Natalie Portman swimming around in her underwear...that's enough for me.

Best Line:

Braff's character is in the pool flailing around. It's obvious he doesn't know how to swim.

Mark: You look like a wet beaver!

(Again, another quote you have to hear to appreciate).