GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!

There's two kinds of people in this world: Movie people and pussies.

Honestly, if I tell someone to GET TO DA CHOPPA!!! and that person (usually a girl or a pussified lame excuse for a man) doesn't know what I'm talking about, I get a little pissed off because I'm a hardcore movie person who's only here to do two things: chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubblegum.

I get super pissed when someone tells me that he or she "doesn't really watch movies." You don't watch movies? Then what the hell have you been doing with your life? Going outside? Interacting with the opposite sex? Lame! Watch a fucking movie already! Gawd!

I grew up during the glory days of cinema (the 80's and early 90's), and I can quote hundreds of movies off the top of my head. I know how many gigawats it takes to run a flux capacitor (1.21). I know all the rules of Fight Club (but I can't talk about them due to the first two rules of Fight Club). I am a movie person, my wife is a movie person, my friends are movie people, and this blog is for all you movie people out there in cyberspace.

Since movies just aren't as awesome as they were "back in the day" I'm going to be reviewing old school movies on this blog. There's no rating system or anything like that. I'm not reviewing movies for style or artistic value or any crap like that. I'm going to be reviewing fun movies and talking about what makes them so awesome. What's a "fun" movie? Office Space and Short Circuit are "fun" movies...Citizen Kane and The Crying Game are not. I will randomly select a movie every week and review the shit out of it and explain why it rocks balls...or sucks dick (depending on the movie).

I invite all you movie people out there to join with me and enjoy the total awesomeness of movies past.

I'm Captain 69. You stay classy...PLANET EARTH!

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