Harry and the Hendersons (1987)

Here's the winning formula for family movies in the 80's: Family + weird creature (alien, bigfoot, robot that came to life) = Box Office Gold.

And no movie did it better than Harry and the Hendersons...except maybe E.T. and Short Circuit.

Nevertheless, what this movie has going for it is simple: Sasquatch. How many Sasquatch-centered movies are there? Answer: Not enough. This movie is great because it's premise is simple: What would happen if a family adopted Sasquatch as a pet. The answer to that question is that your house would get fucked up and your neighbor's pool would look like a condor flew over it and took a giant shit.

Watching this movie today, I just love how totally cliche the entire thing is. You've got the nerdy younger brother and his bitter, emo sister who just wants to do her hair and be left alone. You've got the nurturing mother and the father who is obsessed with murdering animals. At the beginning of the film, John Lithgow is a gun-toting, nature hating, heartless republican. Then Harry comes into his life and John Lithgow transforms into a whiny, tree-hugging pussy democrat. And the transformation is basically instantaneous. I'm serious. Usually character arcs take the entire film to complete, but John Lithgow gets a major hard-on for Harry twenty minutes into this thing. It's kind of pathetic...

And you can always tell a movie is PG because the hardcore, French villain will undoubtably, turn into a complete pussy by the end and deliver a HILARIOUS final line to end the movie. LeFleur is the victim of pussification in this case. After spending the ENTIRE FILM trying to hunt down and assassinate Sasquatch, Harry melts his heart by the end and makes him wish he was an American citizen. What are you going to do next, LeFleur? "I don't know. There's always Loch Ness." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....SHUT UP!

They should make a movie where a family takes in CHUCK NORRIS and tries to keep him as the family pet. It would basically be the exact same movie as Harry and the Hendersons except with less hair and a lot more roundhouse kicks. I'd pay to see it.

Why It's Awesome: A family learns the harsh consequences of trying to domesticate Sasquatch.

Best Quote:

After witnessing her pool cleaner pull out a gigantic fur ball from her brown pool...

Irene: I need someone to talk to! You know, it hasn't been easy with the pool and everything, and Herb is no help. His latest theory is that a condor flew over and took a shit in it.