Billy Madison (1995)

Man, watching this movie makes me wish Adam Sandler was funny again. The simple truth is this: Adam Sandler hasn't been funny for almost a decade. Many have argued this point with me, and I've bitch slapped every single one of them harder than I wanted to bitch slap George Lucas after watching Crystal Skull.

His last official funny movie was Big Daddy.

"But Captain 69, how about The Longest Yard? That had its moments."

No, it didn't.

"Well, Click wasn't that bad!"

Yes, it was.

Like I said, I gain no pleasure in saying this, but Adam Sandler sucks hairy donkey dick. If you want to see Adam Sandler be funny, watch Billy Madison.

And on that note, I feel a QUOTATION BONANZA coming on. Here are the BEST QUOTES FROM BILLY MADISON:

"Suntan lotion is good for me, You protect me, tee hee hee!"

"Oh, the sun try to burn me, but you won't let it, will ya? (Fart noise!) (Fart noise!) Smiley!"

"It's too damn hot for a penguin to be running around."

"He called the shit POOP!"

"O'Doyle rules!"

"If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis."

"Who would eat 30 bagged lunches?"

"Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I make the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really fool? Yes, really."

"Couch. C-O-R...are you going to the mall today?"

"You know something? YOU SUCK!"

"T-t-today, junior!"

"Chlorophyll? More like BOREophyll!"

So basically every line of the movie could be the best quote. This movie is just fucking funny. It continued the tradition of really dumb, funny as shit movies started by Dumb and Dumber the year before. Cheers to funny Adam Sandler...may he rest in peace.

Why It's Awesome: It's a fucking hilarious quotable movie. I still use Billy Madison quotes to this day, and when people don't know them I light dogshit on their front porch and go hide so I can watch them put it out with their boots. "Call the fire department! This one's out of control!"

Best Convo:

Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace. I know from experience, if you know what I mean...

Billy: No you don't.

Bus Driver: Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her GOT-IT-ON! WHOOEEE!

Billy: No they didn't.

Bus Driver: No, no, they didn't. But you can imagine what it'd be like if they did...